ecieci
1st February 2009, 05:52 AM
Previously on 'My Darling Kenji':
Hi, I'm a student of a business school in the Cote d'Azur, France. I fell in love with my financial modeling lecturer, Kenji Eichmann. He's a mixed German-Japanese guy, smart but cold and distant, and he never realized how much I was crazy about him. One time in London I managed to steal a kiss from him on the pretext of being drunk, but there hadn't been any progress since. Time passed by and my study was coming to an end, so would this be the end too for my one-sided love to Kenji?
-----------------------------
I was furiously typing my literature review in one of the school's study rooms when that call came. I almost didn't pick it up.
"Hello..."
"Hello, this is Heidi Wagner, I'm calling from Triple I Advisors Germany. We received your application for the position of Junior Transaction Manager, and we would like to invite you to Frankfurt for an interview."
I was ecstatic. I didn't even remember whether I ever sent them any job application, but that doesn't matter. What mattered now was that I had a job interview. Awesome ! At the time when times were bad and many graduates couldn't find any job. I immediately agreed to the invitation and fixed the time and date.
The preparations for the interview took up the rest of my time. The firm, as I found out, was the sole advisor for an American private equity firm that has business interest in Europe and hence set a presence in Frankfurt. Origination of a prospective deal was done by the private equity firm, but after that came the dirty work: research on how the deal could be made profitable for the firm and the follow up after the deal is made, which was the dirtiest of all as it involved realizing the actual profits from the deal, such as going down to the bought company, breaking up its divisions and selling the non-core businesses, firing people they couldn't use, reorganizing the whole business and pumping out profits out of the re-organized company within a deadline. The job as transaction manager, unlike its name, didn't only involve helping the private equity firm to manage the actual transaction, but also the dirty work above.
"This is a hard time, so we are trying to save our overheads by making staff multifunction." That's what Clark Klein, the Australian senior transaction manager, explained to me during the interview. We used one of the office's meeting rooms, the interior decoration was kept clean, minimalist with a touch of wood, typical German style. He sat at the opposite side of the big table, grilling and questioning me like I was some murder suspect. Very tough.
The interview consisted of a few managers questioning me one after the other, and he was the last one as well as the longest. He questioned me for half an hour, then gave me a one hour test.
I thought I did it badly. I tried to forget about the horrible interview and enjoy the rest of my stay in Frankfurt. Afterall, Germany was Kenji's homeland. Well, part of his, since he's half Japanese too. But you know, point taken.
Frankfurt didn't hold as much charm as cities like Prague or Paris, though. Plenty of historical buildings were destroyed during World War II, so the city was dotted with new buildings in here and there. There was a river in the middle of the city, a rebuilt bridge that connected the two sides, and typical German timber-framing style graced most of the buildings in the central market. It was summertime so there were outdoor restaurants and bars, just like in the Riviera. I tried to soak in the atmosphere, and imagine Kenji in it, blended perfectly well among these Germans, walked down these cobblestone streets briskly, carried that absolutely-wanted-nothing-to-do-with-anyone-or-anything attitude with him as he always did, and loaded with quantitative finance books in both his hands. Somehow to me, the image seemed romantic.
But the real image of Kenji that I actually saw afterwards was him sitting down behind my thesis supervisor, with his super serious look, discussing my fate with my supervisor as I progressed on my thesis presentation. That was two weeks after my job interview, I was holding my thesis presentation. The last task I had to do before graduation. Beside my supervisor, I was required to invite another assessor for my presentation. Naturally I used the chance to invite Kenji, although my thesis topic was a little off his research interest. Thankfully he felt the desperation of a graduating student (or the desperation of a one-sided love, maybe) and accepted my invitation. And now here he was sitting next to my supervisor listening to my presentation. Good work, myself :mgeer:
"...so that's why I proposed a combined momentum and technical analysis strategy to test the profitability of Asian equities. I understand that there could be the risk of data snooping, thus I carried the White - Sullivan data snooping test as well.." I carried on with my presentation nervously as they kept whispering to each other.
"If you have any more question, do ask me out loud, not whisper." I tried to make a joke, and both Kenji and my supervisor smiled a bit.
"No, there won't be anymore question." My supervisor replied. "You can wait outside now while we are discussing on the grade of your thesis."
Finally ! I was glad that it was over, but then I found out that it was as nerve-wracking waiting for the grade outside that closed door as it was when I gave presentation inside. It seemed like they took forever to decide on my grade. Into the fifth minute, my phone rang.
I was confused. They were going to tell me the grade by phone? "Yes?"
"This is Heidi Wagner from Triple I."
Oh my God ! Bad news one before another ! I'm going to get rejected for the job and get lousy grade !
"Yes ..."
"I'm calling to inform you that we have decided to offer you a position."
No way.
I can't imagine how I felt. The floors suddenly seemed so light and fluffy, I must have flown to the clouds. How could I fly? I must have lost all my weight and became feather-like out of happiness. I didn't even remember the rest of her words. Something about it's a very tough job with high turnover, a three year contract, make sure I wouldn't come crying to her to quit after the first year, work permit issues etc. etc... they all didn't matter as much to me as the fact that I could secure a job. Did you know how much loan I took for this education ? I'd have gone bankrupt without a job !
When Kenji opened the door and my supervisor told me that I got 14 for my thesis, something like a B+, I didn't even mind a bit. Who cares how much grade you have, man, when you'd bagged a job !
I shook hands with Kenji and my supervisor, thanking them for their guidance and all those formalities. Then my supervisor had to rush off for another thesis presentation, that was scheduled back-to-back with mine. Only left Kenji and I in the room. He was preparing to leave.
"So where are you going after this?" He asked casually.
I looked at his handsome face. Probably the last time I could ever see him. After this, we would go our separate ways, I would start my life and he would continue his, and this little one-sided love of mine would be just another memory from a chapter in my life.
"I'm going to your homeland actually. Germany. I just got an offer in Frankfurt."
He looked surprised for a moment, and smiled the brightest smile I'd ever seen in my life.
"Congratulations ! What position is that?"
"Transaction manager." I skipped the 'Junior' bit of the job title. "For an advisor of a private equity firm. We follow up private equity deals and make sure they turn into profits."
He kept his big smile. "Sounds like a very important job. I'm very happy for you."
And then, he headed for the door.
I couldn't help but trying to stop him. "And what about you, Kenji?"
He stopped at the door, and turned back to me once more. "Of course staying here in the Riviera. I'm working full-time in this school."
"Will you ever return to Germany one day?" I asked hopefully. My longings for him were written all over my face. He'd have been blind for not seeing them.
"Only for holidays, to my hometown in Baden-Württemberg area. I'm planning to build my academic career with this school. The research center here fits my interests." He replied, crushing all my hopes and desires. To me, that reply marked the end of all the hopes that I ever harbored in the past one year. After he walked out of that door, it would really be the end of us. I wouldn't have the chance to meet him anymore, I would be thousand miles away from him. It's such an irony that I got a job in his country, but he himself was living in another country. But the biggest irony of all was keeping this one-sided love for one whole year, not being able to act on it despite being so near. I remembered the moment I saw him for the first time, that afternoon on Promenade des Anglais when he jogged past me and stole my heart away. He smiled at me back then, probably after seeing my blushing face, and now, one year later, he had that same smile at his face.
That was weird. I wasn't blushing. In fact, I felt like crying.
"Well then," He tapped the door frame as a signal that this conversation was over. "I wish you all the best." He nodded, and off he went.
At that point, I couldn't hold back my tears.
For a few minutes after he left, I stayed in that room, crying uncontrollably. I guessed I just had to let go of all emotions I had held up for one year, or maybe it was a sign of relief somehow. I wasn't sure which. All that I knew was they were farewell tears for my one-sided love. Although one-sided, that love kept me going. Gave me motivations, pulled me through difficult times.
Maybe that was the reason I had that love. I just needed something to hold on to, to get through the difficult classes and exams. Now that school was finished, I didn't need that love anymore.
Goodbye you, my darling Kenji. Goodbye forever and good luck in life ...
Love,
Emma
------------------
"Emma !"
The young woman with dark bob-hair looked up from her laptop, and greeted the browned haired guy with a smile. The guy arrived at her table and sat next to her. "Sorry for waiting. Finally the meeting with those French was over. Did you wait long?" He looked genuinely concerned.
Emma, the young woman, shook her head. "Nope, I just came a few minutes ago."
"What were you doing?"
"I just went through old files that I did during my study period here in Nice. Coming back to the Riviera making me a little nostalgic."
He smiled. "It's been almost three years after you graduated, yes? You still keep old files in your laptop?"
"Yes, things like papers, thesis..." letters I never sent, she continued at heart.
He held her left hand warmly. The hand that bore glistening diamond ring on the ring finger. She looked up to him, and returned his smile with hers. They were looking at each other lovingly while sitting opposite each other in an outdoor restaurant facing the Mediterranean Sea by the Promenade des Anglais.
"Shall we start to order? I'm starving."
"OK."
And they buried themselves in the menu, busying themselves with delicious dilemma between escargot and salada nicoise for starters, enjoying the warm Cote d'Azur's April sun and the company of each other.
In the background, turquoise Mediterranean sea graced the pebbled beach, and a German-Japanese handsome man was jogging on the Promenade des Anglais. He ran past the couple, past the young woman, towards the blood red sunset.
---END---
Hi, I'm a student of a business school in the Cote d'Azur, France. I fell in love with my financial modeling lecturer, Kenji Eichmann. He's a mixed German-Japanese guy, smart but cold and distant, and he never realized how much I was crazy about him. One time in London I managed to steal a kiss from him on the pretext of being drunk, but there hadn't been any progress since. Time passed by and my study was coming to an end, so would this be the end too for my one-sided love to Kenji?
-----------------------------
I was furiously typing my literature review in one of the school's study rooms when that call came. I almost didn't pick it up.
"Hello..."
"Hello, this is Heidi Wagner, I'm calling from Triple I Advisors Germany. We received your application for the position of Junior Transaction Manager, and we would like to invite you to Frankfurt for an interview."
I was ecstatic. I didn't even remember whether I ever sent them any job application, but that doesn't matter. What mattered now was that I had a job interview. Awesome ! At the time when times were bad and many graduates couldn't find any job. I immediately agreed to the invitation and fixed the time and date.
The preparations for the interview took up the rest of my time. The firm, as I found out, was the sole advisor for an American private equity firm that has business interest in Europe and hence set a presence in Frankfurt. Origination of a prospective deal was done by the private equity firm, but after that came the dirty work: research on how the deal could be made profitable for the firm and the follow up after the deal is made, which was the dirtiest of all as it involved realizing the actual profits from the deal, such as going down to the bought company, breaking up its divisions and selling the non-core businesses, firing people they couldn't use, reorganizing the whole business and pumping out profits out of the re-organized company within a deadline. The job as transaction manager, unlike its name, didn't only involve helping the private equity firm to manage the actual transaction, but also the dirty work above.
"This is a hard time, so we are trying to save our overheads by making staff multifunction." That's what Clark Klein, the Australian senior transaction manager, explained to me during the interview. We used one of the office's meeting rooms, the interior decoration was kept clean, minimalist with a touch of wood, typical German style. He sat at the opposite side of the big table, grilling and questioning me like I was some murder suspect. Very tough.
The interview consisted of a few managers questioning me one after the other, and he was the last one as well as the longest. He questioned me for half an hour, then gave me a one hour test.
I thought I did it badly. I tried to forget about the horrible interview and enjoy the rest of my stay in Frankfurt. Afterall, Germany was Kenji's homeland. Well, part of his, since he's half Japanese too. But you know, point taken.
Frankfurt didn't hold as much charm as cities like Prague or Paris, though. Plenty of historical buildings were destroyed during World War II, so the city was dotted with new buildings in here and there. There was a river in the middle of the city, a rebuilt bridge that connected the two sides, and typical German timber-framing style graced most of the buildings in the central market. It was summertime so there were outdoor restaurants and bars, just like in the Riviera. I tried to soak in the atmosphere, and imagine Kenji in it, blended perfectly well among these Germans, walked down these cobblestone streets briskly, carried that absolutely-wanted-nothing-to-do-with-anyone-or-anything attitude with him as he always did, and loaded with quantitative finance books in both his hands. Somehow to me, the image seemed romantic.
But the real image of Kenji that I actually saw afterwards was him sitting down behind my thesis supervisor, with his super serious look, discussing my fate with my supervisor as I progressed on my thesis presentation. That was two weeks after my job interview, I was holding my thesis presentation. The last task I had to do before graduation. Beside my supervisor, I was required to invite another assessor for my presentation. Naturally I used the chance to invite Kenji, although my thesis topic was a little off his research interest. Thankfully he felt the desperation of a graduating student (or the desperation of a one-sided love, maybe) and accepted my invitation. And now here he was sitting next to my supervisor listening to my presentation. Good work, myself :mgeer:
"...so that's why I proposed a combined momentum and technical analysis strategy to test the profitability of Asian equities. I understand that there could be the risk of data snooping, thus I carried the White - Sullivan data snooping test as well.." I carried on with my presentation nervously as they kept whispering to each other.
"If you have any more question, do ask me out loud, not whisper." I tried to make a joke, and both Kenji and my supervisor smiled a bit.
"No, there won't be anymore question." My supervisor replied. "You can wait outside now while we are discussing on the grade of your thesis."
Finally ! I was glad that it was over, but then I found out that it was as nerve-wracking waiting for the grade outside that closed door as it was when I gave presentation inside. It seemed like they took forever to decide on my grade. Into the fifth minute, my phone rang.
I was confused. They were going to tell me the grade by phone? "Yes?"
"This is Heidi Wagner from Triple I."
Oh my God ! Bad news one before another ! I'm going to get rejected for the job and get lousy grade !
"Yes ..."
"I'm calling to inform you that we have decided to offer you a position."
No way.
I can't imagine how I felt. The floors suddenly seemed so light and fluffy, I must have flown to the clouds. How could I fly? I must have lost all my weight and became feather-like out of happiness. I didn't even remember the rest of her words. Something about it's a very tough job with high turnover, a three year contract, make sure I wouldn't come crying to her to quit after the first year, work permit issues etc. etc... they all didn't matter as much to me as the fact that I could secure a job. Did you know how much loan I took for this education ? I'd have gone bankrupt without a job !
When Kenji opened the door and my supervisor told me that I got 14 for my thesis, something like a B+, I didn't even mind a bit. Who cares how much grade you have, man, when you'd bagged a job !
I shook hands with Kenji and my supervisor, thanking them for their guidance and all those formalities. Then my supervisor had to rush off for another thesis presentation, that was scheduled back-to-back with mine. Only left Kenji and I in the room. He was preparing to leave.
"So where are you going after this?" He asked casually.
I looked at his handsome face. Probably the last time I could ever see him. After this, we would go our separate ways, I would start my life and he would continue his, and this little one-sided love of mine would be just another memory from a chapter in my life.
"I'm going to your homeland actually. Germany. I just got an offer in Frankfurt."
He looked surprised for a moment, and smiled the brightest smile I'd ever seen in my life.
"Congratulations ! What position is that?"
"Transaction manager." I skipped the 'Junior' bit of the job title. "For an advisor of a private equity firm. We follow up private equity deals and make sure they turn into profits."
He kept his big smile. "Sounds like a very important job. I'm very happy for you."
And then, he headed for the door.
I couldn't help but trying to stop him. "And what about you, Kenji?"
He stopped at the door, and turned back to me once more. "Of course staying here in the Riviera. I'm working full-time in this school."
"Will you ever return to Germany one day?" I asked hopefully. My longings for him were written all over my face. He'd have been blind for not seeing them.
"Only for holidays, to my hometown in Baden-Württemberg area. I'm planning to build my academic career with this school. The research center here fits my interests." He replied, crushing all my hopes and desires. To me, that reply marked the end of all the hopes that I ever harbored in the past one year. After he walked out of that door, it would really be the end of us. I wouldn't have the chance to meet him anymore, I would be thousand miles away from him. It's such an irony that I got a job in his country, but he himself was living in another country. But the biggest irony of all was keeping this one-sided love for one whole year, not being able to act on it despite being so near. I remembered the moment I saw him for the first time, that afternoon on Promenade des Anglais when he jogged past me and stole my heart away. He smiled at me back then, probably after seeing my blushing face, and now, one year later, he had that same smile at his face.
That was weird. I wasn't blushing. In fact, I felt like crying.
"Well then," He tapped the door frame as a signal that this conversation was over. "I wish you all the best." He nodded, and off he went.
At that point, I couldn't hold back my tears.
For a few minutes after he left, I stayed in that room, crying uncontrollably. I guessed I just had to let go of all emotions I had held up for one year, or maybe it was a sign of relief somehow. I wasn't sure which. All that I knew was they were farewell tears for my one-sided love. Although one-sided, that love kept me going. Gave me motivations, pulled me through difficult times.
Maybe that was the reason I had that love. I just needed something to hold on to, to get through the difficult classes and exams. Now that school was finished, I didn't need that love anymore.
Goodbye you, my darling Kenji. Goodbye forever and good luck in life ...
Love,
Emma
------------------
"Emma !"
The young woman with dark bob-hair looked up from her laptop, and greeted the browned haired guy with a smile. The guy arrived at her table and sat next to her. "Sorry for waiting. Finally the meeting with those French was over. Did you wait long?" He looked genuinely concerned.
Emma, the young woman, shook her head. "Nope, I just came a few minutes ago."
"What were you doing?"
"I just went through old files that I did during my study period here in Nice. Coming back to the Riviera making me a little nostalgic."
He smiled. "It's been almost three years after you graduated, yes? You still keep old files in your laptop?"
"Yes, things like papers, thesis..." letters I never sent, she continued at heart.
He held her left hand warmly. The hand that bore glistening diamond ring on the ring finger. She looked up to him, and returned his smile with hers. They were looking at each other lovingly while sitting opposite each other in an outdoor restaurant facing the Mediterranean Sea by the Promenade des Anglais.
"Shall we start to order? I'm starving."
"OK."
And they buried themselves in the menu, busying themselves with delicious dilemma between escargot and salada nicoise for starters, enjoying the warm Cote d'Azur's April sun and the company of each other.
In the background, turquoise Mediterranean sea graced the pebbled beach, and a German-Japanese handsome man was jogging on the Promenade des Anglais. He ran past the couple, past the young woman, towards the blood red sunset.
---END---